Ask a cat is an advice column that appears in Alaska Landmine. Do you have a question for the cat? Email [email protected] or click here to submit via a form (anonymous) for the answers to any of life’s problems.
dear cat,
A lot of the people I work with are jerks. My company has a program where they funnel young people into all the secretarial positions, they are all pretty young people (18-20 years old) and about 75% of them are horrible. If they even bother to show up to work, they seem to make it harder for the people who are actually higher up (our accountants, IT department, etc.). Some days my job would be easier if they weren’t around. . The problem is that management gets defensive when someone points out problems. What should I do, Cat?
Dear Human,
Nothing like corporate coddling of incompetence (from youth, no less!) Cat assumes it depends on the type of position you hold at this company. If he is higher up, he can exert some influence to change the way the kittens fight. Although Cat suspects that this isn’t technically in his job description, it seems that those in power are unwilling to make changes. The cats only advice is to just ask for what you want. Be direct with young people and tell them clearly and simply what you need. Complaining is fun, but Cat wonders if he’s also taking his concerns directly to support staff.
Often, humans fail when expectations are low. Recruit your coworkers to start directly asking youth for more. If you have it in writing, better than better. If you email the young crew and say “I need all files from Wednesday copied over to Thursday” and that task isn’t complete, then you have a written record to turn over to management. Cat says to collect data and make your needs known.
dear cat,
I am exhausted. I’m so tired of trying to date the men in this town. The small talk, the same silly stories during every first date. I feel like I’m wearing myself out, but I also want to be in a relationship. How am I supposed to find “the one”?
Dear Human,
Sigh. Every week, Cat receives news from locals who are bummed out and fed up with the shady dating scene that is Alaska. Cat can really only encourage you to do one thing, and that is to focus on yourself. Does Cat know that this is a cliché? Yes. Does Gato care? No. It is often repeated because it has value. Get out there and be the best version of yourself. Having a partner will not complete you. It’s perfectly normal to want a partner, but letting that smell of despair out into the universe isn’t going to do you any good. Will someone big come along eventually? Probably. It will be soon? The cat doesn’t really know. Regardless, the longest-lasting relationship you’ll ever be in is the one you have with yourself.
You can’t control who comes into your life or when a partner crosses your path, but you can control how many activities you do that you love, how much time you spend with friends and family, and how much effort you put into developing your career and interests. The reason you are exhausted is because you have scattered your efforts throughout the city towards unworthy goals. Call that energy back into your own little legs and go from there.
dear cat,
I’m trying to repair my reputation at work. I am a single man and for one reason or another I have now dated two of my co-workers. The first time didn’t end so well, but she had already planned to leave the state and it wasn’t so strange when she broke up because she was out of the picture at work. I started dating someone from the same department and it recently came to light that I had (once) hooked up with a girl I met at a guys night out. At this point, none of us are planning to leave our jobs anytime soon, but I know most of the people we work with know what happened because she was so upset when she found out about the cheating and didn’t hesitate to share it. Now I feel like my coworkers treat me like the scum of the earth and that makes my job infinitely more difficult. I feel like yes, I did something stupid, but should this also make my job harder?
Dear Human,
I hope you did not write to Cat in anticipation of cuddles and comfort. You chose to date a coworker; therefore, she chose to make her personal life part of his work life. Should your ex girlfriend have shared the details with your coworkers? Debatable. Should you have cheated on your partner? No. Shitty behavior certainly occurs on a spectrum, and in the grand scheme of nefarious behavior, yours was the greater of two evils.
Since you can’t go back and in time and not cheat or prevent her from sharing your misdeeds with coworkers, you’ll just have to move on from here.
A reputation can be ruined in a day and it can take years to rebuild. Cat thinks the best thing to do is apologize and keep your head down. If a co-worker treats you with blatant disdain for her misdeeds, the best thing she can do is express (hopefully) genuine regret, but reiterate that she wants to focus on her work and hopes he can give her the opportunity to do so. . Certainly her co-workers don’t owe her her friendship, but despite her unfaithfulness, they owe her a semblance of professionalism so that she can accomplish the tasks required of her job.
Cat hopes that this incident will turn you on your head and that in the future you will pay attention to the hard lessons learned from this experience.
cat chat:
This week, Cat encourages the collective humans of Alaska to strive for progress, not perfection. It can take months or years for him to find the right partner or repair a reputation, so he just puts one paw in front of the other and is content to wander in the right direction. 🐾
